December 19, 2018

Don’s Dynamite Christmas Special 2018

The Dynamite is forward looking – it doesn’t always dwell on the negatives when there are so many positives out there in our bustling community and on the world stage.

So the Dynamite is looking forward to 2019 unlike those in the media and our visionary politicians ……….. it’s time to look to the future and be inspired so the Dynamite takes a look at the 3 top issues likely to impact on Australia in 2019.

Hollywood hot-spot

The Hollywood rumour mill is working over time!  Consistent with its output in 2018, Hollywood moguls are on the trail of the hottest possible re-makes.

Gossip columnists and the arty-farty brigade are all pumping for a re-make of ‘Titanic’ to be called ‘Titanic the fable’.  How so?

Well if the rumours have any substance, Australia’s own Village Road Show group and The Queensland Film Corporation are to join forces to produce the film on Queensland’s own Gold Coast.  Man, what a coup!

There is though, an unfortunate down side to all of this – Leonardo Dicaprio just couldn’t find the time to come down under to reprise his earlier role.  But then Hollywood has, as it always does, demonstrated not only that it can pull a rabbit out of a hat but will always find the right leading man/men, depending on how you look at it.

PM Scotty [of the beam me up variety] Morrison is the hot tip to play the captain of the ill-fated super-liner.  Treasurer Josh Frydenberg plays the less prominent role of the ‘ghost of Christmas past’, as the bean-counting purser.

The whole re-make is described as a fairytale because, with the release of the movie due in late February 2019, we all know that Scotty and Josh will not survive the sinking. We can all see that they have immediately engaged in frenetic outings and the gifting of all the largesse [which apparently they didn’t have before but do have now].

Even the reckless spending of your taxes and mine, will not save them from oblivion. Why is that folks, because the remake of the movie is like the current state of politics in Australia – a simple fairytale at best.

The really, really good news is the sequel to the sequel, that’s the one that follows Titanic the Fable, already has a title.  The French language version will be called ‘de lemmings de cliffe’.  The sequel starts with the super-liner slipping beneath the water with all the lemmings seeking self-rescue or salvation, depending on the camera angle.

Then, from just over the horizon comes a little tramp steamer with captain Barnacle Bill in command.  The saving of as many souls as possible will require innovation and courage – alas there might not be a happy ending.

The Trumps down-under

We’ve all seen this genre before – yes there was the Griswald family and then the Fockers, just to name a few.

This mooted blockbuster will star the whole Trump family and assorted hangers-on. The word nepotism is studiously avoided through the whole docu-movie.

The story line goes like this – Beam me up Scotty and Josh, the world’s next potential greatest treasurer, are wrestling with unemployment and how to solve this hideous stain on our otherwise perfect society.

Scotty and his trusted deputy Sheriff scour the world for inspiration and while this phase of the movie shows all the hallmarks of being a little tedious, inevitably our fearless leaders focus on the land of the brave and the home of the free. After all what took them so long – isn’t the good old US of A the home of McDonalds, KFC, Burger King and yes, the BMX bike. It’s the Innovation Nation made great again – so come on guys let’s get on with it.

So, to return to the story line – the Donald – who of course is the main star in this docu-movie, comes up with some good lines, not to mention a basket full of great ideas.

The Donald imparts the basis of his genius to Scotty because the Donald and Scotty have overcome their failure to recognise each other at the Argentine summit and are now great buddies.

So what is the secret – well it’s all a bit droll really – where is the novelty in appointing your entire family and assorted hangers-on to vital positions so that they can a demonstrate clear lack of ability and a desire then to leave the close knit team of hanger’s on and write a book about their failures.

This might well be pivotal for Scotty, because Scotty has a lot of mates in the religious right and lots and lots of mates from down at the Shire.  After all, Scotty’s pastor mate apparently deduced that Scotty was born to rule. Then of course there is the question – ‘Who would really give most of these people [including a good number of pollies] a job with all the perks that ensures that the citizenry continues to pay for them for years to come?’

But the piece de resistance is – that the Donald, that is Donald Senior is likely to unleash on all of Oz his secret, secret, great, great weapon. No, not his oratory.  No, not his indefatigable ability to text, tweet, tweet, tweet and………………… No, not even son-in-law Jared [he is busy with his Russian contacts at this very moment] but wait for it, Donald Junior, a chip off the old block.

Now the Junior version of the great man himself might well be only a mere novice in public life, but how long does it take to build greatness when greatness is thrust upon you.  The naming rights of Donald Junior should be guarantee enough. Expectations surrounding the arrival in Oz of Donald Junior are high and the drum beat from the clean living residents of Canberra is rapidly growing louder.

The Donald might want to make America great again so the question really is ‘When you are born great, then what work really has to be done to the Junior version of the great man?’

All of this is something which Scotty and his mates are alive to, so keep a watch out – this blockbuster of unmissable viewing of raw talent upon raw talent, is almost upon us.

It seems that the only likely constraint on completion of this production is – no not Stormy Daniels nor the Playboy bunny – but the possible intervention by that unshakable of all American institutions, the FBI.

A likely sequel might just be – ‘Greatness Thwarted’ or ‘How I almost made America great again’.  I don’t like unhappy endings so let’s just cross our fingers and await the arrival of the Junior version of greatness.

Home spun greatness

Over the years Hollywood has produced some epic moves dealing with the 4th Estate – the media.

Who can forget Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford in Watergate.  Then there was the story of the Boston Globe and the courage displayed by the owners and reporters when dealing with issues of abuse in a major church.

Well, even though our local daily newspaper [in case you missed it ‘The Fraser Coast Chronicle] hasn’t had a recent nomination for a Walkley or other award of merit for fine journalism and is even less likely to be of interest to Hollywood movie makers,  it just might be that 2019 will be its break out year, a year when our daily local explodes out of something much less than mediocrity into something which might bear a passing resemblance to a newspaper.

It just might be that its long suffering readers – who are the victims of an exorbitant charge of the rag – actually get some local news with real and interesting content.  Running stories from a parent newspaper – often with a lag time of days – is not local journalism but rather an avoidance of the trade of journalism at a local level.

How frequently does the local daily intend to present advertisements as news? There is a clear distinction between the two, something apparently missed by the local daily.  The local daily should be honest, if there is nothing worth reporting from the local scene then don’t report anything.  Nothing better than asinine reporting and profile building for some, is something that the local community does not need or long suffering readers should have to tolerate.

What about in 2019 giving a present for the local community and in particular to our youngsters – get the spelling, grammar and content right.  Look at it as a community service.  Surely as journalists your readers [and the community] should be entitled to the maintenance of minimum standards of spelling, grammar and content reporting.

So, let’s be positive about our local daily in 2019 – after all, we can always live in hope.