June 13, 0216

Don’s Dynamite – Playing with the big kids!

In a break with the usual format of the dizzy heights of the local council forum, in this edition of our newsletter we travel to the even more rarefied atmospherics of the Federal Election campaign.

Well, a big “Yawn” to all our regular readers of Don’s Dynamite.

4 weeks in and the big yawn continues. The whole thing is just so boring and predictable. We know that the atmosphere of the Federal campaign is sucking all the oxygen out of the air we breathe.

So what is the evidence for the oxygen deficiency as we gaze into outer space?

Let’s just look at a few examples –

First there was Mathias Cormann, who got confused with his leader Malcolm and the other leader, that’s the aspirant Bill. Mathias confused the two to tell us what a great job Bill (aka Malcolm) was doing. Is Mathias a Labor plant or is this really a scam by the Labor party to get the voters confused and hope that on election day the voters, no not Mathias, will vote for Bill when they really want to vote for Malcolm?

Second there is the great debate on negative gearing, which I am sure most of the population don’t know about, don’t understand and when it really comes to the crunch, don’t really care anyway.

Well then there was that leading Labor figure and no doubt future prime ministerial aspirant Mr David Feeney. This genius of commerce apparently failed to understand (and declare) that he had a property worth about $2.3 million which was negatively geared. This of course begs the question – how was it that he came to be in this position? Perhaps he has so many properties of this ilk that he just got confused – no doubt a real champion of the poor and oppressed. I only make the point because the other option, that he is not someone in whom the voters should have any trust, is just too awful to contemplate.

Third we have the Deputy Prime Minister. This is the person who, in the absence of the Prime Minister due to illness, absence or just plain lack of interest, would be the person to push the red button and let slip the dogs of war. Just like in Apocalypse Now, I can envision the swarms of helicopters flying over the horizon festooned with black pyjama clad members of Border Force. Just imagine all these Border Force personnel surrounding the three amigos (read the three dopes) as they try to buy petrol for their speed boat to head off to Syria. You have got to be kidding.

But no, this intellectual giant somehow managed to connect the cessation of live exports of cattle to the influx of asylum seeking boats on our borders.

Was Johnny Depp right? Was Barnaby really inbred with a tomato? Someone has got it wrong.

Really, this is all too depressing to contemplate.

Fourth we have Bill, the would-be prime minister on TV and in the media on his early morning runs. Come on Bill – this is all not really helping your cause. You look like a disenfranchised electric fan with loose limbs travelling in each and every direction and at the same time you are making the former Prime Minister, John Howard, look like he could earn a place in the Athlete’s Hall of Fame.

Fifth, who is just not sick and tired of all the promises being made? One minute we have no money, the nation is broke and no one can really tell us how to fix up that nasty thing call the ‘deficit’. But kazzam / whammo, like magic, Mal and Bill produce the magic pudding. Money is flowing like water into the rivers of hope and despair to meet all the ills we face. Whoever heard of fiscal discipline – well obviously not our leaders.

Conclusion – is there anyone of either political party who is going to grab our attention and interest? The thought of another 3 weeks of this is all too painful. It might be time for a good book.